Do this...or that

A good friend told me she doesn't really read parenting books anymore. It's not worth the mommy "guilt." And increasingly I'm finding this to be true of myself as well. When an article headline says "Ten Things You Should Always Make Instead of Buy" or "Ten Foods You Should NEVER Feed Your Child," I'm finally learning not to click. Buying my kids Pop-Tarts to snack on in Target does not mean I am a mom who is trying to poison her kids. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I don't think the moms writing or talking about these things mean for moms already feeling like they are failing to feel worse. But it happens so easily. I'm learning, slowly, not to stress-eat those Pop-Tarts and instead savor them!

Anyway, I guess this is on my mind partly because even though I have an opinion on lots of things and so does everyone else - rightly so - I feel there is increasingly a dogmatic tone to everything on non-moral issues. (I'm not talking about something like defining marriage.) And partly because I just read some comments on an encouraging article (with mostly encouraging comments - that's why i was reading them) that implied that things like breastfeeding or not giving your kids much sugar are "proven" to be better and therefore if you fail to pick them, you aren't choosing the best thing and although you can certainly give yourself grace for having (!) to fail there, you can't say you're just choosing an equally valid or good thing. And to that, I call BS. There are quite a lot of verses in the Bible about this issue...but I think they are along the lines of "be kind and compasionate to one another" and "don't let what you eat or not eat cause your brother or sister to trip up in the race the Lord has called them to" (my paraphrase). Of course there are many wrong reasons to make a choice, but isn't fear of others one them? I'm extremely grateful right now that, rather than offering forgiveness when we can't live up to someone else's standards, God gives us *freedom* to buy organic strawberries if we want to and can...but buying those delicious not-pesticide-free blueberries that are $1/lb is every single bit as good if that is what we chose -- *whether* we can afford organic or not. And the same goes for chosing formula for your baby, *even if* you can breastfeed, etc., etc. 

I'm not meaning this to turn into a diatribe, by the way. But I've had to come to grips with this out of necessity. Honestly, I still have a hard time sometimes defining what is and isn't a moral issue (especially when it comes to how parents discipline their kids). But I also want to be changed into that mom that can be trusted not to fill another mom with guilt over any false rules or comparisons, to truly consider the needs of others. 

And naturally, I have to be knocked off my high-horse a lot for that to happen. :p