Though the fig tree does not blossom

I'm I had a really great Friday (when Jason surprised me by taking the day off) and Saturday for my birthday. Fun, but at a non-stressful pace. Basically perfect. Sadly, the inevitable crash came this morning, after having insomnia and then being up at night with little Link. (Ha, little Lincoln - he's wearing 6-9 month clothes and getting adorable fat creases on his legs.)

Anyway, when it finally became apparent that I wasn't going to make it to church, there were inevitable-but-getting-less-frequent tears of frustration and hopelessness. But i think it was a good thing, because once again I'm forced to recognize that it doesn't matter that everything i do seems to fall apart sometimes and there is, in a sense, no fruit on the vine; God still holds me close and what matters is his love for me, not anything I can do. Not even the good things I want to do...  And therein lies the importance of sometimes hitting rock-bottom and remembering that much as I desire to be physically/mentally "whole" right now, there is a greater wholeness I already have through Christ and it does not depend on anything I do and it will never be taken away. 

So today I am singing, with renewed hope, "Though the fig tree does not blossom/Though there be no grapes on the vine...still I will rejoice in my God."